


there's not enough time to waste on tears

by survivalinstinctvalkyria



Series: ESO Round 3 Entries [3]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 15:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20194597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/survivalinstinctvalkyria/pseuds/survivalinstinctvalkyria
Summary: With each passing day, Eichi looks increasingly more worn-out when he comes home. It’s not that noticeable at first - just a grin that’s a fraction less vibrant at first - but soon, his body trembles with every step. Every day, Keito watches as he walks into their shared apartment, standing tall just as he enters the room, looking as strong and stately as he ought to, before he routinely exhales, letting all that grandeur holding him leave his body, and collapses against the door. And every day, Keito hauls him to bed and makes him tea, always accompanied with a cut-and-paste lecture that he’s perfected after months of watching Eichi work himself to the bone.Today, though, Eichi’s a little more resistant.“We have a date night tonight, Keito.”//ESO Round 3 EntryDay 3: Fight/Compromise





	there's not enough time to waste on tears

**Author's Note:**

> I completely referenced my parents for the fighting so sorry if it's ooc,,
> 
> Also not edited because I went to bed at 5am, woke up at 9, then fell back asleep and woke up 3pm

With each passing day, Eichi looks increasingly more worn-out when he comes home. It’s not that noticeable at first - just a grin that’s a fraction less vibrant at first - but soon, his body trembles with every step. Every day, Keito watches as he walks into their shared apartment, standing tall just as he enters the room, looking as strong and stately as he ought to, before he routinely exhales, letting all that grandeur holding him leave his body, and collapses against the door. And every day, Keito hauls him to bed and makes him tea, always accompanied with a cut-and-paste lecture that he’s perfected after months of watching Eichi work himself to the bone.

Today, though, Eichi’s a little more resistant.

“We have a date night tonight, Keito.”

“I know, we can reschedule it.”

“We haven’t had one in ages.” He’s right, work keeps both of them too preoccupied to spare a second thought towards leisure, though as they’ve progressed in their careers, that’s become more of a problem for Eichi than for Keito. “It’d be cruel of me to force you to grin and bear it again.”

“It’d be even crueler of you to make me worry by denying yourself the rest that you need to stay alive. I’d say ‘we have the rest of ours lives to have date nights’, but with how you keep pushing yourself, that might not be the case.”

“ _ I’m fine, _ ” Eichi insists.

“And I’m as flamboyant as Hibiki is, what else?”

“You’re not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

Only now does he regret living in a split-level apartment, because Eichi’s doing everything in his power to remain limp and unmoving in Keito’s grasp, and pulling someone who’s about the same size as him, if a little lighter (thank god), up a set of stairs is quickly becoming a nightmare. He practically has to drop Eichi into their bed once they make it there.

When he tries to peel off Eichi’s blazer, the man curls in on himself.

“You’re not sleeping in your work clothes, get up.”

Eichi petulantly turns so that his back is facing Keito instead.

“Don’t be such a brat.”

“If you think I’m ‘such a brat’, then why don’t you just leave?”

That gives Keito pause. “Okay, what’s wrong with you?”

No response.

“Come on,” Keito prods, poking his boyfriend's shoulder. "Why's this upsetting you so much?"

"Do you even care about us not having our date night?"

"Wha- of course I care!"

"If you cared, then wouldn't you be upset that we can’t go on dates with each other anymore? Every time something comes up you just shrug and say that we’ll postpone it.

“It’s because I care about you, idiot! I don’t want to go on dates with you if you’re pushing yourself to hard.”

“I get that! But you’re not going to suddenly be okay with us not going on dates and me not having time for you just because you care about me. It doesn't work like that."

"Then what  _ do _ you want me to say?" He doesn't wait for a response. "That I'm disappointed in you for trying your best at work, that I blame you for constantly being sick?"

"None of that! But you act like it's not a problem. Like there would be no difference if we did go on our dates." He pushes Keito off the bed. What would've been a light press against Keito's chest becomes a powerful shove, aided by a surge of frustration. "You never initiate affection or intimacy, you act like being around me is a chore, you're too prideful to let yourself be vulnerable around me… as if you haven't watched me vomit blood before! I'm allowed to be frustrated, aren't I?"

"You're blowing everything out of proportion! You're not even supposed to have a boyfriend, yet you're constantly whining that I'm not doing a good enough job! What, do you want me to give you roses and serenade you like Hibiki would? If that's what you want, then why don't you go date him instead!?"

"That's not…" When Eichi turns to look at him, there's something mournful in his eyes, but it hardens into rage a second later. "I'm not asking that of you! I just want you to tell me that you love me once in a while! And I never said anything about Wataru. Are you jealous? You're seriously… you're seriously jealous after acting like being my boyfriend is chore, you…" a deep breath, and then, practically spit out: "bastard. You incorrigible  _ bastard _ ."

Ah, he's stealing Keito's insults now. Maybe if this was all in retrospect, Keito's mind would dare to think about the fact that slowing becoming like each other is a sign of a couple growing truly comfortable with each other.

"It's an honest suggestion, considering the fact that that's what you seem to be looking for in a relationship."

He doesn't want to hear what Eichi's response is - a little (read: large) part of him is actually afraid to - so he leaves the room without looking back, knowing full well that the image of Eichi curled up on their bed alone would be too pitiful for him to keep going, and slams the door.

He never slams the door. He doesn't want their landlord to get annoyed at them, for one thing, but a large part of it is the fact that they remind him of when he was pining over Eichi back in high school, how every failed attempt at reaching him felt like a door closing. Harshly. Resonant in his ears and twisting his stomach with the urgency for denial. Maybe that's why he feels a small twinge of pleasure at the awareness that Eichi definitely flinched, like there's some latent sadism lying inside him.

Then, with the door closed firmly behind his back - a finality, a statement of 'you can't go back, you've closed this route off for good', it feels - there's a sudden moment of numbness, before the realization of what he just said crashes over him like a tsunami, effectively drowning out his earlier thoughts.

Eichi was right, he  _ is  _ an awful boyfriend, isn't he? Why else would he be so uncaring of the fact that Eichi just had an awful day at work and wanted to come home to some affection from his boyfriend? Was Eichi looking forward to their date that much?

_ Idiot, of course he was. _

Eichi probably spent the entire day waiting for a romantic dinner with Keito. He probably pushed himself through all those meetings thinking about how, when he got home, Keito would be unapologetically tender with him for once, he probably daydreamed about when exactly he would reach for Keito's hand under the table, as he's never failed to do, and receive the same half-hearted scolding as always.

_ Fuck, _ Keito wants that as well.

They both wanted that, but Keito just had to go and throw it under the bus.

The rest of the night passes in a blur between him failing to finish of a chapter of the book he's been reading, and dejectedly putting aside half of the food he'd cook for dinner. He falls asleep on the couch, cold and uncomfortable, trying to push aside the phantom of Eichi's body next to his.

He deserves the ache in his back much more than he deserves the warmth of his lover's body, anyway.

* * *

A dim light casts over the room when his eyes crack open, a morning bathing in soft gradients that muddle the hard edges of the cityscape he eyes through their window. Their coffee machine whirs somewhere in the background, coupled with a faint hum.

Eichi looks beautiful in the morning light, like a painting of pastel watercolors. Right now, he's all pale colors, from his skin, to his hair, to his eyes, to the twill fabric of his button up.

"Good morning."

Eichi's voice is hardly above a whisper, afraid to break the serenity of the scene. If anything, it adds to it, a calm cadence that's like silk over his ears.

Instead, of giving a verbal response, Keito groans.

"Oh, does your back hurt?" The coffee machine fades to silence, and Keito watches Eichi carry two mugs to their coffee table. "I'm sorry, sleeping on the couch must not be comfortable."

"I'm fine, it's just a bit of pain in my neck."

Reflectively, Eichi leans closer and presses a sweet kiss to Keito's neck, one that sends indulgent shivers over his body, before jolting and turning away.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise. Here, come sit."

Eichi awkwardly moves to sit next to Keito. He looks tired as well, and it takes some serious self-restraint on Keito's part to keep himself from pulling him closer.

"How did you sleep?"

"Not well," Eichi admits. "I… usually sleep better when I'm with you."

"... So do I."

It's an easy answer but a difficult admittance.

Eichi mulls this over longer than he usually would. "I didn't lock the door. You could've come and slept with me on the bed."

"Didn't want to bother you, I was an asshole last night."

Eichi groans. "Don't even say that. I literally came home and started screaming at you."

"It was for a good reason."

"It wasn't, stupid. You were trying to take care of you, but instead of being thankful, I just yelled at you for not doing exactly what I wanted to. No one should force you to say or do things that you don't want to do, and yet I insisted that there are things you should be obligated to do. Love can't be fit into a box, and it was cruel of me to try and shape what yours should look like."

Shit, Keito's weak to this side of Eichi, so vulnerable in a way that's completely unlike him - he can't help pulling Eichi into his arms.

"I already said that it was okay. You had a bad day at work, and it made you irritable. It's not like I've never snapped at you for no reason after a hard day. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but you were really looking forward to date night, weren't you?"

Eichi nods against Keito's collarbone, arms wrapping around his torso to pull them flush together.

"I didn't even think about that. I was so concerned with trying to do what I thought you needed that I didn't even stop to think about what you wanted. I'm sorry."

"It's not like I'm mad."

"That's a lie, you're still a little mad, aren't you?"

"Like you're not?"

Keito chuckles. "Just a little. And it's the whole 'you're not affectionate enough' thing that you're still upset about, isn't it?"

"Stop interrogating meee," Eichi whines. "But yes, it is."

"Thought so. You said love doesn't fit into a box, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean I can completely disregard my duties as your boyfriend. I've still got to make you feel loved, and I evidently haven't been doing that."

"You've been doing more than enough, Keito. I was just being a brat last night, it's no big deal."

"It is. And… it's not like I'm against the idea of us being more affectionate, you know. Also, I implied that you don't deserve a boyfriend, I'm sorry."

"I  _ don't _ deserve a boyfriend," Eichi affirms whole-heartedly. "You, on the other hand, deserve a boyfriend who's not sick, or overworked, or a brat, or selfish."

"Are you saying that I don't deserve a boyfriend who's angelic, and hard-working, and admirable, and kind?"

"I'm sure there are other people with those traits."

"Probably, but I'm too attached to the brat with all of the above."

"Stoooop…. Hhn, I can't get used to you being like this. It's kind of weird, but I think it's because it feels too much like a dream for me to get used to it." His face feels significantly hotter against Keito's neck. How cute.

"Are you embarrassed?"

" _ Anyway, _ I know I said that I don't expect you to serenade me, but I wouldn't be against it, so…"

Keito huffs. "You do realize that I forced Kiryu and Kanzaki to sing my love songs for you, right?"

In retrospect, forcing his poor unit mates to pore over lyrics detailing his feelings for his childhood friend may not have been a great move on high school Keito's part.

"Mhm. That's why I tried to disband Akatsuki, it was for their sake."

"Not because you love me?"

"No, not because of that."

It's a warm lie against Keito's neck. Keito wraps his arms around Eichi a little tighter, because it's never enough, and there's nothing he can trade for the  _ rightness  _ of his lover in his arms. They might doze off, letting their coffee go lukewarm right under their noses, but it doesn't matter.

A bed would preferable, though….

"Let's go take a nap."

"We both just woke up."

"We both slept like shit." When Eichi snickers something sounding an awful lot like  _ how eloquent, _ Keito adds: "And I missed out on a night with you in my arms. I need to take that back."

He's been taking moments back for years, moments that stolen away by his own cowardice and aloofness, and some moments that ran off track when the two of them missed each other. He'll have to keep taking them back for the rest of his life, because there's not enough time to waste it with Eichi in another bed; there's not enough time to waste on tears.

**Author's Note:**

> No one wanted this


End file.
